Saving Xtopher

Here’s what I made for dinner tonight.

It’s a throwback to something MomDonna used to make when I was a kid: hamburger, green beans and rice all cozied up in something between a stir fry and a casserole.  But it wasn’t purely nostalgia that inspired tonight’s meal.

You see, I’m on the heels of a week where I spent a total of $90 and I wouldn’t mind a repeat.  Or two.  Actually, I was holding at $75 up until my Friday morning Silver Fox coffee klatch yesterday.  That extra $15 was 360 minutes of Happy Hour with Linda Belcher.  Six hours of drinking in downtown PDX costs way more than $15, but I got lucky on a Keno ticket, so the Oregon Lottery picked up the rest.

Last week, I was in a cooking mood, keeping my Franklin’s circled tight.  Tax season has me a little financially leary.  Most of what I cooked came out of my meager pantry.  I just added some protein throughout the week.  As a matter of fact, tonight, I cooked with a pound of beef that I bought last week – wait, this week!  I forgot it’s only Saturday.  I used a prepared quinoa and rice side that The Fox got on a recent trip to Costco – so I have several more – and a canned vegetable that I’ve had in my cabinet…well, I might have moved it from Seattle with me two years ago.  I served it with Sriracha, the King of Condiments. 

I think what I enjoyed most about it was that it wasn’t just some lame pasta dish.  Fat Xtopher eats way too much pasta.

We’ll see what the coming week brings.  I’m gonna put a hun in my pocket and try to get through the week.  Last week, I had our Regional Director in town for a couple days treating us to lunch, but I’ve still got tuna and lunch meat in the fridge to offset those free lunches this week.  

My big weakness is $5 coffees.  It’s way better for me than the Monster habit I kicked earlier this year, but still twice as much.  Last week, I had a gift card that took care of half of my coffee drinks, but I think it’s only got one left on it. Maybe I’ll just try to switch out my coffee for kombucha…it’s half the price and better for me than the dairy and syrup laced coffee drinks.

Not drinking during the week was a big help in achieving my cheap week, as well.  I got no plans to change that!  

But what really helps there is not dating.  

More specifically, not even trying to date.

No hanging out in bars chatting up randos, swilling $6 beers while I kill time in between potential conversations.

It’s all upside…because how can saving money have any downside?

Now and then I think I might be missing out on meeting someone, since my self-imposed moratorium on dating.  But I really don’t miss it.

At all.

Case in point, I was scrolling through The Facebook yesterday and someone lamented the current state of gay dating after being stood up.  I’ve sung that song for years and couldn’t resist a peek at the comments.  They were largely supportive and empathetic, until one commenter posted “#gayculture” with no further context.  Naturally, I had to reply with “RIP actual gay culture”.  I stopped short of sharing my thoughts on how his cavalier dismissal of flaky and selfish behaviors in the service of ones own selfish sexual needs isn’t culture so much as the cancerous behavior that’s killing gay culture.

But it was still a reminder of what I’m not missing.

My response came back at me as I climbed into bed last night.  The Wallpaper bloke from a couple months back texted me out of the blue again.

A welcome intrusion into my bedtime ablutions.  We traded texts until he passed out.  Before that happened, these texts turned into a fairly intimate and frank conversation.  This is harder for me to navigate, because I freely admit my attraction to him.  Actually, I think if I told him to come over, he would have.  

So…the hard part?

Hush up, Diezel.

Drawing the line between an old man’s fantasy and the reality of having sex with a friend.  It’s just not me.  Of course, I told him that and he asked not to be grouped in with “those guys”, and I understand his request based on his situation.  

Sorta.

I think he understands mine, as well.  Not that it needs much understanding since my attitude on sex is fairly mainstream.

Ooh, how exotic…a gay guy with sexual morals.

Anyway.

I have no feelings either way on the conversation we had.  Grumpy, old Xtopher had a rare judgment-free moment.  But, for me and my emotional well-being not allowing myself to be someone’s meat stick is an even more valuable way for me to save myself than just executing a week on the cheap.

Call it Emotional Frugality.

But if The Wallpaper decides to take me up on a date…I’m fucking going.  Hehe.

Saving Xtopher

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