I don’t.  

Never really have.  They only time I’ve really gone to bed naked was when I wasn’t expecting to sleep.  

<wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more, say no more>

Part of that has to do with habits formed in my childhood, for whatever reason.  Maybe it’s because I lived in a house with five other people?  Maybe it’s because I was raised Catholic and nudity kinda goes against its inherent sense of propriety.  Maybe I’m just too lazy or low functioning to dress first thing in the morning?

Recently, when talking to friends about my somnambulant escapades, I shared my one obvious tell that let’s me know I have been up and about whilst sleeping:  I wake up naked.

This kinda surprised them.  A good deal more of my friends slipped in a comment about how they go to bed that way, so that particular tell wouldn’t have helped them.  

Their disclosures caught me off guard.  I just kinda expected that my norm was fairly universal.  Y’know, except for 20 and 30-somethings who are just too sexy for clothes.  But, no…I got this comment from people of all ages, body types, genders and relationship status.

Registering my surprise conversationally to one friend yielded a comment about how he could see where my control issues would keep me buttoned up tight at night.

That rhyme in the paraphrased conversation was mine, BTW.

But…

Control?

Me?!?

I dunno.  Maybe.  Especially with the earlier admission of going to bed naked with an expectation. 

Another friend attributed it to my germaphobic peccadilloes.

That also seems like a logical extrapolation of why this habit has persisted into my adult, solitary living lifestyle.  Especially now that at least one trip to the head is a nightly guarantee.  You know what they say, you can tap it, you can shake it, you can beat it on the wall, but the last drop of all…comes out on your pants.

Yeah, I’d rather not wet the bed, even just a drop at a time.

But, whatever the underlying – and I mean subconscious – reasoning, I still head to bed in undies and maybe a tee shirt.

Naturally, my recent news feeds have all had to have at least one entry about the benefits of sleeping naked:  less restriction while tossing and turning to wake you, less tossing and turning because you’re unrestricted, your skin breathes better so your temperature is better regulated.

Y’know…just better sleep quality.

That’s just how my life works.

Seemingly against me.