My Most Poopposterous Post

Alright.  You were warned.

I almost feel guilty writing on this topic while listening to the always classy Annie Lennox, but that’s all part of the dichotomous nature of Xtopher.

Excellent taste in music.

And…


There’s also Dad Humor!

I really am the complete package.

Seriously, though…today is my favorite day of the week.

Monday?!?”, you ask with appropriate incredulity.

Not for me, Sundays are my Mondays.  For me, Mondays are Acupuncture Day!

“And all this has to do with poop, how?” – You.

One of the disarming things I was asked on my first – and every subsequent – appointment was “How is your digestion?”

My response was, true to Xtopher form, something along the lines of, “Good I guess. It looks different going out that going in…except corn, of course”.

On the topic of poop, that would probably be enough to cause most people to careen away from the topic.  My Needle Man, though…special breed.  

He persisted.

Consistency?

Color?

Clean up?

Gassiness?

I tried to tap out.  Poop jokes are one thing.  Serious conversations about my – ahem – digestion in a brightly lit small room – while sober! – with a stranger were strange territory for me.

More than I could…digest, you might say.

I turned, suddenly, into what many of my friends probably would pay to see:  monosyllabic and nearly mute.

He let me off the hook with a, “Tell you what, I’m gonna throw a couple points in for your digestion and we’ll talk about it next week”.  I was fine with that, not yet fully on board with the effects of acupuncture.  I was managing my own expectations around results.  

If my pain was managed:  win!  

Anything above and beyond that was gravy.

Actually, I was kind of worried that dividing the focus of his efforts would dilute the results.

Not to worry, though.  In addition to immediate lessening of my back pain, increased mobility in my knee and a bit of a draw on my plantar fasciitis, I did notice a change in my team’s performance at the super bowl.

And he hit it on the head:

Consistency!

Color!

Clean up!

Gassiness!

I was suddenly strutting around with Ass Confidence.

Here’s a recent pic of me turning to flush:

Yup.

I’ll let you off the hook with no further detail.  Suffice to say, I walk into that small, brightly lit room each week ready to talk shit.

So, in addition to the incredible pain relief I get from acupuncture, I also get a bonus:  relief from my college freshman diet.

And that makes Monday, a notoriously shitty day for everyone, my favorite day of the week.

Catch you all on the flush side.

My Most Poopposterous Post

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s