Monday To The 4th Power

I’m not going to lie, this perfectly sums up my day.

Quite frankly, the workday wasn’t filled with much drama – compared to the other three Mondays this week, anyway.  But, still, I don’t think I should be forced to deal with such adversity.  It was a long day…I’d planned on getting to the gym after work, but then this happened.

But the boss bought lunch, so that’s a bright spot in an 11.5 hour day.  Plus, I left feeling like I’d accomplished some things today amidst the usual retail tire spinning.

On the MAX ride home, I jettisoned the gym plan and decided just to hit the market and cook a nice dinner at home.  

When I left to go to the store – the big one, not The Brodega on the next block over – it. was. pouring.  Thinking I’d probably not care to walk either there or home, I opened my ReachNow app and booked the beemer on the next block.

“The car you want is reserved.”

I look for the next closest car and try to grab it.

“You must update your credit card.”

From the last 30 seconds?!? 

I update the card and try booking again, but the car is gone.

The next closest car is about a half mile away, about halfway to the store.

I’ve been standing outside for close to ten minutes now, so I decide to try the so-called reserved car again.  ReachNow reservations are only good for 30 minutes, and I’m usually at my vehicle in ten, since it’s usually on my block.

Still reserved.

Fuck this.  I’ll call an Uber.

My driver and I have a great talk on our short trip and suddenly, I’m in the market…paralyzed by indecision.  “What to eat, what to eat…?” I ask myself as I wander the aisles.

My question unanswered, I go grab some toothpaste then wander back to the Meat Dept, thinking I’ll just make my default pasta.  I pick up the Italian Sausage as The Wallpaper’s Facebook post from earlier today springs unwelcomely to mind.  Something about how he doesn’t want to wake up with two asses so he doesn’t eat big dinners before bed.

I always like to check the Manager’s Special meat area…a habit since I was a starving 20-something feeding myself in the LBC.  I can usually find a roast to freeze.  Tonight, however, there’s some jag-ass standing in front of the section and my waiting nearby, seething in his general direction does nothing to encourage him to perfect his statue pose elsewhere.

I move along, thinking, “Something lighter, something lighter…” and end up in the Italian Food aisle with a two-liter Diet Coke.

Swing and a miss.

I decide to give in to my inner Jabba and quickly grab the rest of my dinner fixings.

I head for the checkouts, by way of the Meat Dept again, which is located at the back of the store.  I pass by The Statue again and irritably notice he has apparently gone Vegan since I last saw him.  

My optimism is rewarded with a ridiculously large package of 90% lean ground beef for $11.  Of course, I rationalize buying it thinking that I can freeze some but suspecting I won’t.

I hit the street, popping open my ReachNow app, even though it’s just dripping and I could probably walk home.  My $30 20 lb bag of groceries doesn’t make me want to walk.

The closest car is now 5 blocks in the wrong direction.

Fuck it.  I’ll walk.

It turns out that was a good thing decision.  On the stroll home, I realize that I’ve forgotten sandwich bread.  I pop into The Brodega with my contraband and head for bread…which puts me in direct line of site of their frozen pizza.

Mumbling my third “fuck it” in a 90 minute window, I decide on a less stressful dinner of pizza, wine and NCIS.

You saw how the wine adventure began…things are leveling out now.  Also, Mistress Myrtle seems to approve of the pizza, which is gluten free and seriously good.

I’ve got three minutes before my normal bedtime…I think tomorrow might be a 7:00 am start time.  

Love and pizza, yo!

Monday To The 4th Power

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