I did a little…entertaining at home a few weeks ago, colloquially speaking. I go downstairs to let my company in and I was kinda caught off guard by my reaction to meeting him in person.
I asked him for ID.
I swear to Cher, this kid looked old enough to know how to do it but in person, too young to do it to.
Whatever filters he was using in his photos really made him look older in pics than he looks in real life. I have a similar feature on my bathroom mirror.
I carded him because…well, the law, right? But also because while I find younger guys physically appealing, I don’t want someone I have to break in. That’s no fun…ok, it’s still fun, just different since I feel a sense of responsibility if someone entrusts that part of their sexual life experience to me.
<changes dating profile screen names to Mr Robinson>
Kidding. I deleted my asocial media app profiles.
This guy whips out his passport like this happens all the time. His passport. I’m not sure this guy will merit any more of a mention in the blog than this preamble, but he keeps texting me, so who knows.
Ladies and gentlemen, The Brazilian.
PS: He was old enough. Fucker has awkwardly good genes, though.
Oooooh, sidebar, because that reminds me of a joke about our formerly dumbest president:
During the post-9/11 Gulf War, George Bush was getting his daily briefing in the Oval. One of his aides mentions that three Brazilian troops had been killed the prior day. As the aide continues on, W sinks slowly into his chair, prompting the aide to ask if everything is alright. The president looks up in shock and says, “How many is a brazillion?”
Now, on to the point.
Also a few weeks ago – after The Brazilian, not before! – I was reading the news in bed and came across the HLN news story about the Oklahoma congressman and the 17 year old he’d picked up on Craigslist. I’d never heard of HLN News, and was appropriately skeptical of the article’s veracity…but I read it.
The married Oklahoma congressman.
The anti-LGBT voting congressman.
The family values touting, bible verse spouting Oklahoma congressman.
And, lastly, the 17 year old male he’d met on Craigslist, I think it’s worth pointing out.
They were smoking weed in an interstate no tell motel before or after whatever else they planned to get up to.
Only thing? Someone told.
I think it was the kid’s parents that sent the cops to the motel. And this congressman – this bloated, hypocrite of an upstanding American – answers the door wearing an Ephesians tee shirt with a picture of a sandwich on it.
Standby, I’ll see if I can find a pic.
Ok, feast your eyes on this bullshit:
Oh, also, self-hating closeted fag.
He’s in trouble – and should be – but should he be expected to police his CL hookups?
Should any of us?
I don’t usually scrutinize those I screw too closely…it’s supposed to be fun, but I’ve passed on some…opportunities? Sure, opportunities that have fallen into my lap and then expressed a desire to remain there. Younger people are fun. Still have metabolisms that haven’t betrayed them, body parts that are taut versus not, energy and optimism that can be refreshing.
But they can also be super idiots.
That’s not an appealing trait to me, so it’s fairly easy for me to walk away from just a pretty face. Call it my “safety” mechanism.
Maybe I have uncommon sense.
He says he didn’t know the guy’s age, but I dunno…seems pretty easy to me to avoid schtupping a 17 year old.
Unless you’re a congressman or judge, it seems.
But here’s the deal, this guy, and in the wake of the #MeToo movement it seems many of his ilk are predisposed to disregard these common sense rules or demonstrate acts of even a sense of common decency. These are the people forming and shaping our country’s moral fiber.
And they turn out to just be selfish yes men to the special interest backer with the deepest pockets.
And you know what these people and their supporters – even those Americans that are only tacitly so in their silence – produce?
More selfish Americans.
So, while I totally hold this congressman responsible for what he was doing – is it unreasonable to assume that having broken one law, since I don’t think weed is OK in OK, that he would have no qualms about having sex with someone who is underage? – I also hold the kid and his parents accountable.
Just like that little jerk that started the Eagle Crest Fire here in Oregon last summer.
Kids know what they are doing. I suspect they know right from wrong, too. The thing is, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of examples of consequences or critical thinking in the lives of these young people to demonstrate an example for them.
There does seem to be plenty examples of selfish Me First behaviors available in our country.
Right now, thanks again to the #MeToo movement, there are examples of people being held accountable in the court of public or popular opinion but not a court of law.
That’s an example, sure…but it’s a little beyond the grasp of our young to hear a story like Kevin Spacey break and then process that.
Where’s the context they can relate to?
See this world famous person being called to answer for his offenses.
Now, see him disappear from public view forever.
Can our children really understand the concept of having unimaginable wealth? Just check my adjective for my opinion. If they can’t imagine having it, how can the concept of losing it be a deterrent?
Grounding. Kids understand that restriction of freedom. Kid Jail, they can extrapolate that and intellectualize prison as a form of punishment.
Unfortunately, as we turn out these Me First little people and let them run unchecked and amok in the world…some are going to find a dangerous path of least resistance and find themselves in figurative or literal interstate no tell motels.
This kid was lucky…he just ended up in a motel room for a little kissy, sucky, fucky. That may or may not scar him emotionally. More likely, any trauma he experiences will likely be a factor of his friends figuring out he was the 17 year old. But that’s still not as bad as if this kid had met the next Dahmer in that motel room.
Real life story. Shortly after moving back to Portland, I met a guy in a bar. Ha, suck it, dating apps! We came back to my place and had some fun. Went on a couple of DNGN (does nothing, goes nowhere, for you non-Star Trek TNG geeks out there) dates afterward but he was a busy college student and didn’t have the type of time in his life to invest in dating that I want.
Hashtag: meal ticket.
Anyway, on one of our dates, he was talking or oversharing or whatever you want to call it. He babbled our this story about the time a guy had hit him up on Grindr and offered him $600 to come to his hotel and have sex. He said that he had needed a new laptop, so he did it.
In reality, I know he was going on with the usual indictments of asocial media – the guy was married with a family and one of those jags that think the act of getting on an airplane either entitled them to sex or absolves them of any commitments they have at home.
In my mind, I entertained two thoughts:
A) I’d had that ass and it wasn’t worth $600, I’ve had a lot, honestly, and can’t say any ass is worth more that the cost of dinner and a movie.
B) What the hell kind of laptop are you buying for $600?!? Not an Apple, that’s a problem.
Oh, and I just thought of a third thought I experienced at the time,
C) Who thinks this is a good story to tell on a date? Sometimes I think people are intentionally trying to alienate me…but he did go to the same college as Monica Lewinski.
Boom! I went full-circle political sex scandal.
3 thoughts on “Hippocratic Oafs”
Okay. So holy crap. I was raised not far away. I had a guy tell me how terrible it was growing up gay in Oklahoma, and I had to tell him there were probably WAY more confused gay guys than there synthesizer players in Oklahoma in the 70s and to get over it. Now this? I have a friend who works for one of those state senator guys. Holy crap. What people do as consenting adults, even if it isn’t worth $600, is nobody else’s business. Love who you love, how you have to love them. The kiddie porn and prostitution is what got him busted (as if the shirt wasn’t enough. Only in Okie land would a guy not be castrated for wearing that shirt).
As for the Apple laptop, the price makes them exclusionary. Like those golf course white flight communities in the woods of North Carolina where some developer builds a gold course and charges a mill or better for a lot because he knows who is going to live there if he does. Executives and Senators…
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You grew up in the Midwest? I lived in Kansas during HS and College. No wonder I relate to you!
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Oklahoma. I’ve been to lots of fun places in Kansas. Anthony, Harper, Dodge City…Wichita! I have pictures of me just walking, back when dinosaurs first started making BIC lighters, in Topeka. There was a time back in the early 80s when the economy sucked so bad you couldn’t fly into the Kansa State Capital!
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