The Perfect Date…

This will be all over the interwebs today.

Of course, I have a few things to say on the topic.

I dunno, maybe Portland is exempt. Here’s a screen grab of our local weather from my phone yesterday morning.

This is a pretty good example of how our weather yo-yos in the PNW. Last weekend, I was commenting on social media about how it can be 65 degrees outside and you walk through a patch of shade and the hair on your arms stands up. If it’s a block of shade versus a patch, you’re probably gonna come out of it with some perky nipple action…because it’s 40 degrees in the shade.

Not even dressing in layers – the wise battlecry of savvy Portlanders when it comes to dressing for the day – can prepare you for those moments of thermal shock during your day.

Then on Friday, we careen back to rain and 60 degree weather.

So, naturally, while the internet celebrates “the perfect date” and revels in some Miss Congeniality kitsch, it’s going to be 85 here in PDX. Still bring a light sweater, though.

However, here is my other thought on the day:

It’s also the day of the year when I am reminded that yesterday I needed the heat on in my condo if the temperature inside fell below 68. Today, I will switch to AC if it gets over that same temp.

Apparently, I have a one degree comfort zone when it comes to ambient temperatures.

I was reminded of this when I stepped into the shower as normal today and scalded myself. Fortunately, I went in so-called-butt first, sparing poor, unemployed Lil Xtopher any further indignities.

Totally off topic, but I should write something about the *nicknames we give our junk. Frankly, I’m surprised I haven’t yet. I should check that out first. No need to be redundant.

Anyway, I reach frantically and futilely behind me to adjust the water temp, finally stepping to the side of the stream so that I can actually turn and see what I’m doing.


I’d set the dial to its usual position somewhere between ten and eleven o’clock. Waaaay too hot. I wondered if I’d somehow managed to tweak my water heater settings yesterday while I was – get this – Spring Cleaning.

Still looking for the right setting, I decided that scenario was unlikely, since my water heater controls are safely behind a cover panel. It wasn’t until I found a comfortable water temp at the two o’clock position on my faucet that I decided my body had reset itself for Spring and Summer.

Now I’ll spend the rest of the day wondering if this is something everyone goes through or if it’s really just a Crazy Old Xtopher thing. My friends will tell me it’s just a me thing to mess with my numerous neuroses.


See you all on October 3rd.

* Big Ed and The Twins, if you must know. No idea where I got that moniker, but it lasted until I dated someone whose father’s name was Ed. That was weird. Still, I’d say most guys would rather not associate those two letters with their favorite…muscle? stress reliever? special counselor? toy?

No need to unnecessarily tempt fate.

The Perfect Date…

2 thoughts on “The Perfect Date…

  1. Now this was a “fun” read for a hump day afternoon! I was killing time between classes and thought I’d check-in, now, I’m going to be late for my next class, after I’d berated them all for being tardy on Monday! Naked hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I used the line “No shorts. I promised her you’d keep the raisin twins indoors” when a press agent was sending a young man to his doom in a dance class, preparation for a fixed up “we both work here” date with a movie star. Check out the urban slang thesaurus. You’ll be there for two days.

    Liked by 1 person

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