TIL #6: Jenny Protocol

So, this is ideally a series about things I learn from my older friends as I am initiated into the Golden Oldies Club.

Silver Nuggets, as Little Buddy likes to call them.

But yesterday I had a chance to give back!

I was out to coffee with the Silver Fox and I told him I needed toothpaste, so we swung into the RiteAid so I could pick some up on the way back. He decided to impulse buy some flossers and we were off to the checkout.

Like many stores, the RiteAid has a loyalty program. You earn points for every dollar you spend and they repay you with a discount on your purchases, based on your level of spending.

Now, it’s totally not important, but I feel like I have this unreasonable point of pride around being in the “gold” reward level. All this really means is that I save 20% on my purchases.

And that I spend a lot of money at the RiteAid.

Getting old ain’t cheap, my prescriptions are expensive.

So, I go to the register with my toothpaste while The Fox skulks around being next in line. I save my $1.20-something and pay as The Fox joins me for his turn. The cashier asks if he’s a rewards member and he admits that he isn’t.

Like with social media, rewards programs go into The Fox’s “Fer Suckas” bucket and he steers clear of them.

He’s not opposed to a punch card, but nothing that requires an email or phone number.

Probably not a bad idea, given how grumpy I get deleting marketing emails from everyone in the Northern Hemisphere.


There’s a workaround.

Or two…

Take grocery stores. At the Safeway or Fred Meyers, for instance. Sacha and I were rewards members at both places. When he bailed, I continued to use the landline number at our house to get those discounts even though the programs were in his name.

There wasn’t a Safeway near me when I moved to Shittatle and there was only one distant Freddy’s. Interestingly, Fred Meyer is a Kroger subsidiary, but their reward programs aren’t linked so I just signed up for my own Kroger reward account.

Being back in Portland now, I go to the nearby Safeway to drop my recyclables every couple weeks and will pick up cat food and La Croix and whatever I might need for a dinner or two…I still plug in my old landline number from my Sacha days and badaboom-badabing…I get the club member pricing.

Sacha can have the fuel perk, I don’t need it.

He says I’m mean to him.


On the other hand, that whole Kroger thing worked against me when I moved back to town, because their system doesn’t recognize my landline. Either it was inactive too long and auto-purged from the system or we used Sacha’s cell number for the membership. Hey, I’m lucky to remember my landline from 15 years ago, don’t expect me to remember my ex’s old phone number. It’s all I can do to ignore his texts versus blocking the number.

Regardless, in this instance I simply activated the Jenny Protocol.

Yup, when I go to a store where I don’t have a rewards account – assuming I don’t want one, either – I simply type in my local 503 area code followed by Jenny’s number…867-5309.





So, there I was explaining this to The Fox in the RiteAid while the cashier stared at me in slack-jawed amazement. I was getting a good chuckle over it until I realized he just wanted me to put my number in to keep the line moving…

TIL #6: Jenny Protocol

7 thoughts on “TIL #6: Jenny Protocol

  1. What a pity you weren’t able to audio-type this into your site as you were explaining it to your friend. Then it (possibly) could have auto-posted to here, saving you the trouble of having to key in the post later. Just be glad no one bulldozed you two out of the line after you created the backlog! Naked hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I have no earthly idea, my friend. It would be a very convenient feature but I’m certain it would also be VERY expensive. WordPress is going to squeeze every dollar possible until it morphs into a $100!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Your phone will auto type into whatever. Word is a perk from Office 365. Hold your finger down, select all, paste.
    However the number is sheer brilliance. Why? Because everyone of a certain age knows that number. The golden oldies homes that house anyone our age with living parents? Pennsylvania 6-5000 (72) 6- Five Oh Oh Oh

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Masculine Perspectives says:

    “The Jenny Protocol”. I LOVE IT! I’m LMMFSBAO (laughing my muthafuckin’ sexy brown ass off)! Certainly something I MUST try some day!
    Now, should Jenny’s number ever begin to fail you, might I suggest you try:
    (local area code) 777-9311. You can call it, “The Time Factor” …or some crazy shit like that.
    LINK: https://vimeo.com/76278039
    ANYWAY…I’m like The Fox: I don’t care much for so-called “rewards” programs anywhere either, nor do I like giving my email and/or phone number away; not for some mere “perks” or “discount” on anything. (Of course, that may change when I’m at the age to draw Social Security benefits but not right now! I want to still believe that at 58, I’m just too young for certain “older age” stuff. LMAO! Of course, on the serious tip, I can see where there might be some small savings of money for one who shops at Rite-Aid; considering how everything in that place is (in my view) more expensive than it needs to be.
    Great article, g. And thanks for the hearty chuckle!πŸ˜„ Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

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