Yup. This is a thing now. If you’re curious as to what falls into The New Negative…
What I’ve highlighted above will be important in a minute. But lemme be straight, even though I call it The New Negative, I understand the message. Loathe am I to quote our country’s Worst Lady – er, First Lady – but the message of her Be Best campaign and this Dallas Yogi are eerily similar.
Well, they are the same, at least in spirit. Until five posts later, my Instagram Yogi posted this
I mean, come on.
But, lest you think I’m going easier on a yogi versus a de facto hypocrite…I have said nothing to either about how their action made me feel.
I sat still and sipped my coffee and thought about the message while Sheryl Crow played at the cafe.
Be Best is a simple idea, with entirely unsurprisingly vague follow up. Maybe the meat of that campaign is the examples the Worst Couple – darn, did it again! – set for us as a bar to be better than.
But when you give a behavior a name, you set a different and specific bar. Something to focus upon to indeed, become better. In that regard, I like this Toxic Positivity thing.
If recent events and years have taught me anything, it’s that self improvement is a journey, not necessarily a fixed destination. Which is why I actually liked that one of my sources of motivation made such a basic error.
It proves that we are moving together on this journey, helping each other up along the way when we stumble. I think it’s too easy to assume that someone is at the finish line encouraging us to join them, but that finish line keeps moving.
As a former runner and current misanthrope, I don’t need to tell you that I prefer solo sports. One of the things I enjoyed doing on a run was talking myself into mini-goals.
Run to that next tree.
Pass that runner a block ahead of you.
Make it across this intersection before that car hits you.
That was fun, it got me there. But sometimes that runner I passed would turn right around and pass me back.
Guess what?
That could be a real “wah-wah!” moment, but instead of being de-motivated, I would just tell myself
Welp, now you’ve gotta pass that person again…
Even though this was usually my motivator
Anyway, I’m not posting today, am I? It’s not a weekend and I gotta work on other writing stuff. So I better wrap this up. Here’s what I’ll leave you with:
Sometimes these movements have consequences that reach across time. I hope this isn’t one of them.
Hollywood without Kevin Spacey and Jeffrey Tambor makes me sad.
There, I said it.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t think they should be held accountable for possible crimes or inappropriate actions. Joaquin Phoenix seems to be doing ok…why is that fair?
Congress working without Al Franken while our President presides unpresidentially every day seems like a gross incongruency.
But I hope in both cases we have learned that due process is one thing and Buzzfeed justice is another.
I am completely over woke. It went from a catchphrase to a…well, this
way too easily. And fairly unchecked, if you ask me.
From a woke culture to a bunch of thugs with microphones and twitchy trigger fingers. And this bothers me in regards to Toxic Positivity because while I’m writing this, If It Makes You Happy by Ms Crow comes on
…and that’s some Toxic Positivity, right there, y’all.
But I want to hear it.
atleastihaveafrigginglass 
I like your philosophy that self improvement is a journey together, not an ultimate destination. Too cool and so very true! Thanks for the inspiration! Naked hugs!
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So, I actually wanted to write a thoughtful response on my view on self-improvement but as of right now my bf’s cat is scratching its head against my laptop and I’m kinda having a hard time concentrating and beyond all, I really don’t know why I am writing this to you anyways.
I actually went to your site to look for your contact info as I want to ask you if you’re interested in a blog exchange in 2019. Maybe you can contact me if you are interested – there’s a contact form on my site 🙂
xoxo Ben
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Hollywood without Kevin Spacey – no shit, Demi Lovato OD’s there your teenager’s role model. Roman Polanski got popped in ’77 for drugging and raping a 13 year old. He plead to lesser charges and caught the first flight out before the jail door closed. They gave hm and Oscar for The Penis-ist, no no, penist, no no PIANIST. WTF? I will still watch Beyond the Sea, and watch him sing it and dance with Katie Couric on Youtube
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Ok so as I was reading I thought— what about Al Franken and then next paragraph you nailed it! And let’s not even talk about that shit show in Virginia.
I hear you on the positivity problem. Sometimes I just wanna bitch…you know…for fun! And someone has to go and ruin it by telling me to chin up and count my blessings…or I complain about my neck and they want me to know that I’m beautiful to which I say eff off…and then I post a really haggy photo because I’m just having a good time with my bat wings. Okay?
Sheesh!!!
Namaste.
Going to go and wine myself .
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Therapeutic bitching. I definitely get that…get it out, but no need to feather a therapists nest in order to do so!
Hope you enjoy the wine! I don’t know why, but I chose beer tonight. 🤷🏽♂️
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It’s way too cold here for beer. I’m going to drop two lunestas in an hour.
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37 degrees and snowing here. First night of a predicted 9 days of snow here, so you enjoy your lunesta and relative warmth!
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Toxic positivity in action! J/K yeah I hear everyone is buying up all the Cheetos and freakin out.Stay warm-ish.
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Sometimes I pay for therapy which totally backfires when I walk in in a good mood. I do the prerequisite dump and cry and then feel worse and also like a big fat loser! I’d rather bitch constructively into the great unknown and keep what’s left of my dignity.
P.S. the kids downstairs are making poutine and I’m in crises trying to keep from helping myself…lunesta, take me away…
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You put that poutine in a box and fedex it up to me!!!
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Oh, beer and Jodie Foster movies!
Started with Silence of the Lambs and just started Hotel Artemis…very helpful!
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One more thing re be best. Its retarded because only one person in the whole world can be best and that means the rest of us fail by default. Idiocy…
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Silence fareeeeked me out.
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When I run I do the exact same mini-goal setting that you describe! I think it’s a proven tactic in sports psychology: Don’t think about crossing the finish line or winning the game; your only goal right now is to make it to the next mile marker or score a single goal.
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I just happened to stumble across your blog and I am so glad that I did!
I so agree with what you’ve written. Toxic positivity doesn’t address the underlying issue, it merely puts a mask over it.
In fact, I had recently written a post about the same. Perhaps you would be interested in reading it and offering your opinions!
https://classicjish.wordpress.com/2019/03/15/toxic-positivity/
Nonetheless, great post! Keep blogging!
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Hi, and thanks for stopping by and checking me out. I’ll def give your piece a read. Looking forward to it!
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