Hopefully the title didn’t turn you off – thinking, “Great, here he goes about protests again”.

If it did, psych!

Things had gotten entirely too heavy around here – as in most corners of the country – these days. Time to lighten it up…with a Comcast update!

It’s been a little over a week since my new modem/router combo unit arrived. Initially, I was concerned as to whether or not I’d be able to successfully install the new device without the help of a twenty-something.

I’m intrepid, though, so after a thorough social media and email blitz in what might have been my last visit to the interwebs, I took the plunge and pulled the plug.

Literally.

My main concern was getting my Sonos and AppleTV connected to the new device, which was pretty easy.

Two plugs, two holes.

Unlike the old router, which had four.

Then I connected the router to the Comcast coax cable and plugged it in. After the lights did their thing, I opened up the Sonos app and got Aimee Mann Radio back into business.

It worked!

Then I got around to cleaning out the literal and figurative debris. This is what I pulled out from behind my console:

And this is the after:

Much cleaner. Something I’m not embarrassed to have seen sitting by my TV. In the first picture, you can see the giant old modem/router as well as a cable box – which I think I took advantage of having three times, max.

You see, when I have to switch inputs to watch cable, I’m likely not going to do it. The most difficult part of the endeavor was remembering what “input” each of the different devices was on. I actually made a cheat sheet on my Notes app because I knew I’d forget.

Anyway, I went about my afternoon and then later, settled in for some TV with dinner.

It worked!

I was on a roll.

The next day, though, when I went to do some work on my laptop…no internet.

Fine, fine, fine…I whip out the old instructions and start the troubleshooting. I hadn’t initially downloaded Arris’ app as the instructions had recommended. Having gone through everything in the instructions again with no change in results, I decided I needed to.

Sure enough, after registering my device, it helpfully displayed a graphic showing that I had no internet. After a few minutes of staring at that like it was a hieroglyph, I started poking around for answers. I knew that I had logged the change in equipment – in an easier than expected manner – with Comcast the prior day. But for whatever reason, the juice wasn’t going to Internet.

WiFi – check.

Devices – check.

Internet – no bueno.

It was really mind boggling, trying to figure out why WiFi devices like my phone and speakers were tethered to the new device and functioning, but my laptop and iPad – which are also running off WiFi – wouldn’t connect to the internet.

For whatever reason, I was getting a password request on any site I tried to open. Putting in the password for the new router didn’t work, either.

Redoubling my effort to stare intently at the pop up box asking for a password left me with a new question.

What the hell is a WPA2?!?

That was the password being requested.

Changing gears to stare with intent at the Arris app, it finally jumped out at me.

Friggin’ fine print.

There was a masked password under a bold heading that I’d initially skimmed past because it didn’t say “WPA2” over it. But on my third or seventieth glance, there it was in a tiny light gray font…

Plugged that bad boy into the pop up box on my laptop and badda-boom, badda-bing…porn!

Joking.

In the app, I was also easily able to change my WiFi network’s name to something less generic so I could find it. Since my balcony faces the back of a hotel…I tailored my network accordingly:

The only thing left was to call Comcast and adjust my package and billing.

Because it took three attempts before I successfully managed to talk to a person, I added a Comcast contact to my address book. I had to. Having realized after the first two callbacks I set up that my phone sends all calls who aren’t in my contacts to voicemail, I really had no other choice.

It’s not like I was gonna remember how to reset that feature any time soon.

But, after a 44 minute convo with an employee who was both chipper and helpful, I walked away from the call with a bill that had gone from a $120/month 75mbps internet and cable bundle (to get the best pricing) to a stand alone 100mbps internet only service for $35/fucking month ($55/month after the first year).

What a damn racket.

When I was dependent upon them for equipment, bundled packages were the only option. And each piece of equipment costs to “rent” each month. My old modem was $14/month. The modem I bought was $91 on Amazon.

91/14=6.5

So I was paying for my old modem about twice a year.

For about four years.

I should change their contact name to Fucking Criminals.

Now, I’m thinking I should start a pool on how long it takes me to actually return the equipment to their drop off. I’ve been twice in the last week, but both times there has been a crazy line outside the store due to social distancing protocols.

With just one associate working the line.

So I grumpy old left.

Plus, I just realized this morning that I hadn’t thrown my Comcast remote into the box…oops. Looks like being an old grump saved me having to wait in that mess twice!