My cat is a lemon.
Living with her is about as awesome as squeezing said lemon into one of the wounds she inflicts.
But when she’s not busy inflicting bodily harm, she usually divides her time between sleeping and watching the hummingbirds come and go to her newly hung bird feeder that someone installed for her viewing pleasure.
And how does the ingrate repay me?
Yes, yes…bloodlettings to free me from the evil spirits in my system, sure.
But, other than those hostilities, usually she sleeps all day. Then, when I decide to go sit in the cold wind, protected only by a tent from a rainy evening in the gutter or perhaps go out and give a few rides to earn some money to keep her in the style to which she is accustomed…I suddenly am met with this psychotic bullshit.
Really, Corn Kitty?
Oh, yes…really.
You want to know how I know?
She’s vacated the position in the picture above and left only a poop marking her space. Yet, when I come home and discover the gift, I’m met with a neutral stare that innocently suggests,
Somebody shit on the floor.
atleastihaveafrigginglass 
Your cat sounds like a real asshole.
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Complete B-word! 😹
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I have a fat calico. De-clawed. These days I get wounds like yours from my grand dog. I love being greeted so enthusiastically I need to throw a shirt away and dig out the Frozen bandaids.
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See? That’s the difference between cats and dogs. It’s the classic representation of good vs evil.
Dogs: good
Cats: …not so much
The Silver Fox’s dog is the perfect offset to my Mistress Myrtle. And when he draws blood, it’s good natured versus nefariously homicidal.
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Yes, I agree. I have both, dogs and cats. There’s that quote, Heinlein I think, “Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” Very very true.
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I hadn’t heard that quote, but I love it!
For my part, I have been describing dogs as the best people for years. Followed by women, cats and men. And because it’s Portland, there’s a llama in there to round out the top 5. Either in the #2 or #3…
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I kinda never really understood you cat-people.
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We’re sociopaths, basically.
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