Thank Gourd There Wasn’t A Co-Pay!

I had a tele-health appointment with my primary care doc today. It was a follow-up to my blood draw from last week.

Mind you, I’ve been getting copied on the results emails as they come in.

My blood was – shockingly – perfect.

And I’m not kidding when I say shockingly. Pandemic and whatnot, don’t you know. Somehow, I’ve stayed on the right side of 200 kilos pounds throughout Summer, but that’s courtesy of exercise versus any dietary restraint.

(Not to pat myself on the back – I’m not that flexible, so any effort there would likely only result in me punching myself in the face – but I have been eating more vegetables. Mostly salad stuff, but some broccoli mixed in now and again. But I haven’t let that curb my consumption of the rest of the crap I eat. And drink…)

Anyway, I’m sure I could have just canceled my appointment and saved the doc some time in his day. And I think he would have appreciated that, since he was 15 minutes late anyway.

But I had some issues questions.

For one, I felt I needed to demand an explanation. I have no idea why this happened to me. <shuffles deck of Victim Cards>

For another, I’ve been having two alternating issues that I wanted to run by my PCP. Those were specifically having hot flashes in my feet when barefoot and a congestion – along with some numbness in my arm – in my left shoulder.

Of course, I’m looking at perfect bloodwork and wondering whose first day it was in the lab. Clearly, I have diabetes and heart disease.

Well, my doc’s hot take was that it was likely an issue of nerves. Not those that caused Aunt Esmeralda from Bewitched to disappear when she got stressed.

Sadly, I couldn’t find a gif to illustrate this phenomenon, so it’s gonna be one of those IYKYK situations.

Anyway, you know that me – being a wreckreational hypochondriac – was wondering what to do with my shoes once both feet had been amputated while secretly hoping my incipient heart attack would kill me before that shoe thing became an issue.

So, yeah…nerve related didn’t really satisfy me.

This led to a 10 minute conversation that basically boils down to that old joke:

A guy goes to his doctor and says, “Doc, it hurts when I do this!” while raising his shoulder toward his ear.

“Well, stop doing that”, the doctor advises.


I here all week, if not into my 90s even.

Thank Gourd There Wasn’t A Co-Pay!

6 thoughts on “Thank Gourd There Wasn’t A Co-Pay!

  1. Sometime go get a plaque scan. Otherwise, this guy walks in the Doc’s office. Doc asks what’s wrong. Guy proceeds to poke his arm. This hurts. Pokes his ear. This hurts. Pokes his leg. This hurts. Pokes his knees, his ankles, his nose. Everything he pokes hurts. Doc waits patiently (no pun). Guy finishes poking. So what’s wrong, Doc? Doc folds his arms, leans back, says, Your finger’s broken.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. The plaque scan is a good thing. I know geezers with 3% body fat, take regular 50 to 70 mile bike rides, chase women and end up getting knocked down with 98% blockage thinking they’re somehow 60 something Supermen.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It appears as though all your efforts toward a healthier lifestyle are beneficial! Now, that justifies and evening and early-morning celebration! Have fun and be safe! Congratulations on the good news! Naked hugs! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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