Welp, it’s 8:38 on Sunday morning. I’ve been up since 5. 4:30, really – I got up to pee and optimistically tried to sleep more before I had to get up at 6:30 to take the Silver Fox to the airport so he could anon to Tahiti.

8:38 on Sunday morning and I’ve been up since 5.

I’ve read the news.



Completed said airport run.

Filled Angela’s tank.

…and called myself a dumb bitch three times. I’m averaging once an hour today. I suspect it’s having nothing to do for the foreseeable hours remaining in the day.

So I thought I’d do something productive to snap myself out of that self-effacing doldrum.

Can you have a single doldrum? Maybe that’s a torpor.

Neverthemess…I debated asking my parents to breakfast, but I don’t want to drive in this halfhearted rain, so I’m not going to make them do it.

That kind of leaves writing. Am I going to finish my Christmas week post? Finally? No. No, I am not.

I’m jumping into ‘23!

I’m not one for resolutions – or proper English simply for the sake of proper English, hence the nonsense title of this post – but at the same time, I realized in the shower today that I was presently living out a fairly common resolution.

Call it wasting less or doing something for the environment, but that’s what I’ve found myself in the middle of. (There’s some more bad English for ya.)

As I was heading out to pick up The Fox, I had the thought that I should take my redeemable recycling with me to drop off after. I had to stop at Freddy’s anyway to get Myrtle more cat food on my way back from the airport – her breakfast sounded like only two or three kibbles when the feeder went off at 5. Then I surprised myself when I realized I was short of my two bag usual for a trip to recycling and decided to leave it. Besides, who knew whether the Silver Fox would have bags that needed to go in Angela’s cargo area? Best not to risk it.

This is when I realized I’d left my fob to The Fox’s building in my car last night, so I’d have to have him meet me at the door to get in. That was dumb bitch #1.

Then as we were driving to the airport in the dark, drizzly wee hours, I was struggling to see clearly and remembered that I’d intended to bring my glasses so I could see better, but didn’t have them: dumb bitch #2.

On my way home, I took backroads to avoid the blurry freeway. This also took me right by the home of the bi-guy I’ve been banging out with lately. That was kind of a fun realization – but now I’m horny. Sadly, I’m withholding with him because last time I saw him he left a mark like we’re fucking high schoolers.

Do I seem amused?

I stopped off for gas before hitting the grocery store. I’d been at 31 miles to empty when I left for the airport and was at 11 when I made it back to my ‘hood.

Then I forgot to stop at the store for cat food: dumb bitch #3.

Crap! I just realized I’d miscounted my dumb bitches, so that’s dumb bitch #5!

#4 was walking to the RiteAid up the street for cat food and not realizing they don’t open until 9 on Sundays. Staffing issues.

So, yeah…I need some positivity this morning. That required reflection, so I reviewed my day.

I had a shower victory this morning. Two, really, if you count showering so early in the day as a victory (I do). But I finally figured out the “right” number of swipes my shampoo bar requires for a good lather. It’s two.


I’d picked it up at Trader Joe’s last time I was there – purely on a lark. I’d been looking for a candle and struck out. But right next to where candles should have been was their personal care section and for $3.49, I figured why not give a shampoo bar a try? I knew I was getting close to empty on my current shampoo bottle at home., so this was also an opportunity to be proactive versus finding myself shampoo-less in the near future.

The first time I used it, I gave myself three swipes on each side of my head.

Waaay too much. I looked like a shampoo commercial on crack.

Plus side: this bar produces an insanely rich lather. I noticed this as it covered my shoulders and oozed toward my navel.

For the next week or so I regrouped at two swipes per side. Still too much, but I wasn’t mad since it smells so good! It also does an amazing job of pulling the prior day’s product off my hair, so why under-do it?

But this morning I was in a hurry – I know, up at 5 and end up rushing my shower to be on time, can you believe that didn’t earn me a dumb bitch? – and shaved a second or two off my shower by giving each side of my head one swipe.

Realizing that two swipes total was plenty left me looking at the bar in amazement. It looks barely touched after a week+ of daily use. At this rate, if it only lasts me six months, I’d be surprised. But in that half year, it’ll keep three plastic bottles out of my (non-redeemable) recycling.

Looking back on that made me feel pretty good. I felt even better when the reason behind me not having enough redeemable recycling to merit taking it with me when I left the house hit me.

I bought myself a soda stream late last year. I’m actually rather enjoying it. At first I was conflicted about it for political and environmental reasons.

It’s a company based in Israel, which is ire-some to some.

Plus, I don’t like bubbly water just for the sake of bubbles. Hence, the flavoring syrups in front of it. The Bubbly brand concentrates come in glass bottles and make around 12 liters. The larger containers say they make up to 9 liters, but I’ve only been using 3/4 the recommended dose, so they’ll each get me around 12 liters, too. So for the environmental price of two plastic bottles, I’m keeping about two dozen plastic bottles out of the system. Add another dozen for the glass bottle of flavorings and you’ve got quite an impact.

I’m ok with the return on that trade off.

I realized that over the course of a year, that will be hundreds less plastic containers coming out of my home. That made me feel pretty good.

And it all happened without setting out on a resolution spree.

Not bad for a dumb, ol’ bitch, eh?


17 thoughts on “Irresolved

  1. Into self-flagellation, eh? But if you’re into counting how many times you’ve been a dumb bitch, get ready for the ageing brain because things are only going to get worse.
    I’ve never seen the shampoo bar at our Trader Joe’s but you live in a more progressive area than I do. Our TJ’s has a Trump memorabilia section and ammo. I could send you some Trump cards if you like.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Honestly, I credit following your posts for helping me enjoy shower and naked times again. Before starting in with ReNude Pride, I was begrudging my aging body simply for having the nerve to survive so I had to witness its decay. Now I’m a little more in tune with myself and the less carnal aspects of my body and it’s inherent sensuality. So, thanks to you for that!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s a company based in Israel, which is ire-some to some. Excuse me, but who the f*ck is living your life? I have gone back to completely compostable K cups. For some reason dumping all those plastic things really bums me out. Thinking about the billions more is really painful. Every manufacturer of the half a cup of almost coffee pods should be forced to go eco. Thinking about all that plastic is like thinking about where milk comes from on acid. Once you do it, you’ll never use plastic pods again. And milk? Forget that.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Congratz on cutting down your plastics! That’s not easy to do. I have sadly been unable to figure out how to do it, but then again, I do not use much. In the course of a week (my building takes recycling every week, and based on what others put out, they should up it to like 4 times a week). I put mine out every two weeks because I have half of a recycling bucket at that point. Not the big bins, the small buckets you lift with a handle – about the size of a big bucket of spackle. Sometimes I’m more than half (on weeks where my creamer, coffee and shampoo all annoying run out at the same time), but even then it’s only 1 bucket. I also, luckily, live in an area that takes most plastics numbers, so everything I use is recyclable. It’s the cardboard that kills me. Most weeks I have none, but… when I have an amazon order, despite selecting that I’m willing to wait an eternity for things to appear in less boxes, it feels like they cut things into pieces AND ship separately! I order a shampoo and a conditioner, and SOMEHOW 3 boxes show up. HOW? Don’t-cha-know, I purchased a two conditioner set… and they came from the same place in two boxes. WHY?? But at least it’s (theoretically) better for the environment, as is the magical impossible to open paper tape (it’s paper, why is it harder to rip without knife or scissors than regular tape???).

    So, despite what you consider your dose of dumb-bitchery for the day, consider it off-set by the plastics you’ve saved the planet.

    Although, I do have a question. How did you forget your glasses? Didn’t you get out to the car and think, “why am I blind?”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, the glasses are a story in themselves! I didn’t wear them forever without much issue. Then I put them on while watching a series that did a ton of those pop up shots of peoples’ texts so I could see them. Now I can’t read the subtitles without them. Yes, my glasses made my eyes worse!
      I only ever want them when driving in specific conditions – like dark and rainy. They help, but I should probably get my Rx adjusted…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, I’m right there with you. My eye get worse then better then worse. It’s just the life of the party! And every year the Rx is just different enough to require me to get my 9 bajillion dollar lenses and frames. Ugh

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Believe me, I know it! I have a rule, if I can put it into word and think “OMG! This is silly long! I’ll just as happily finish it in word, create a blog post and drop the link. Saves someone else from having a five thousand tiered convo in their comments, and causes the stress to be on me and my mod skills lol


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