Missed Connections

Here’s a confession:

I love reading the Missed Connections section on Craigslist.

I’m not kidding.  I usually have the page open in my browser on my phone and check them out every couple of days at least.  There’s something about reading the awkward, slightly hopeless romance in them that calls to my own mushy, romantic side.

Take this, as an epic for instance.

Then one night last Fall, I was driving back to Portland with The Silver Fox – we’d been helping his youngest son move into his first home – and this Lance Bass program on XM Radio came on…you guessed it, Missed Connections was the topic of the program.  They were reading actual Missed Connections and interviewing the people who wrote them or responded to them.  Me?  I’m listening to them and thinking, “Gurl, I’m way ahead of you…”

Where’s my radio show?

I really do just love finding those romantic gems like the one I linked to above.

Secret Surprise:  I’m also a sucker for a good chick flick.  Key word:  good.  Under the Tuscan Sun and When Harry Met Sally are some of my all time faves.  Must Love Dogs, not so much.

That said, I have noticed over the last 15 years how the Missed Connection crowd has changed.  Particularly amongst the gays posting if the M4M section.

There’s been a tidal change in the posts from the romantic “Our eyes met on a crowded bus, but I didn’t have the guts to say ‘hi'” type toward the rather more base “I blew you through a glory hole at Macy’s and would love to do it again” type.

That’s disappointing.

I mean, seriously, who wants a boyfriend that you met like that?

Is it just me that feels that Glory Hole Guy might not be getting the big picture here?


It’s Missed Connections, people.  Not Missed Erections.

When I moved to Seattle, back in the days before apps when we had to find dates the old fashioned way…online, I posted a couple of Missed Connections of my own.  I was in a new town – Seattle – and meeting people was hard.  Well, meeting people was easy.  Getting those people to meet again intentionally was harder than you can imagine.  Meeting people the old, old fashioned way – in a bar – was kind of my specialty.  Follow through, however, was not one of their specialties.

Over time, I eventually posted a couple of my own, if only to make sure that I didn’t miss an opportunity to, well…make a connection with someone in my new city.

The unexpected thing that happened was that my friends in Seattle read them and surprisingly attributed them to me.

Does writing a Missed Connection count as being a published author?

My downstairs neighbor and co-worker was rather hilarious about it.  Offering a paraphrased version of the one that he had correctly attributed to me:

“You were walking down Pike Street in front of me on Tuesday wearing a blue windbreaker.  Your shoe was untied but I didn’t tell you and I don’t think you noticed it.  Or me.  Hope you made it to work without tripping!  Call me.”

Or something like that.  Can you paraphrase something that someone paraphrased or is that like averaging averages?

These were the type of friends that milked that situation for all the humor and discomfort they could.  Each time we got together for Happy Hour – hey, it’s an old habit, ok? – they would see me noticing someone and suggest that I write a Missed Connection right then.  Or sit down, saying “Has he called yet?” only to answer my query about whom they were inquiring after with “I dunno, whoever your Missed Connection from last night is?”

I finally shut the topic down when it occurred to me that for as much hell as they were giving me for posting to Missed Connections, they were also reading them.  That being the case, I expressed empathy that no one had apparently written one for their lonely asses yet and encouraged them to not give up hope.

We drank in awkward silence for a little while after that.

Over the years, I’ve seen Missed Connections about people I know – which is always fun.  The Ginge spent a sunny pre-Spring afternoon out at a nude beach while we were hanging out last year and I correctly pointed him in the direction of Missed Erection that I suspected he had inspired.  He proudly posted it to his Facebook page.  Then he spent a couple days being unavailable, scoffing at the idea that he had ever responded to the guy’s ad.  Not that we were dating.

Ever read MacBeth?

Yeah, me, too.  But now that I think about it…I think that’s from Hamlet.  Which I also read.

I’ve garnered my own mIssed Connection in my 20s and again in my 30s…no one seems to be missing me in my 40s, but the decade ain’t over yet.  Hehehe.  One per decade isn’t terrible for this old bag of bone.  (sic)  However, the way the posters are trending, I guess I would have to start frequenting seedier business establishments in order to improve my chances, and I doubt – given my earlier judgy comment – that I would respond to the Bath House Romantic’s post.

Well, ok, I doubt that I would find myself in a position for a Bath House Romantic to notice me…so I’ll just happily keep reading and appreciating the sweet angst of the hopeful poster that failed to connect in person on that crowded bus.


Missed Connections