I Have A Huge Confliction

Get your Chrisisms, right here!

Step on up!

I’m checking the Facebook before bed.  Yes, I’m going to bed before 8 pm on a Monday night.  Shut up.

I see a post from a guy I went on a few dates with about a decade or so ago.

A Lost Boy, for sure.

Former Porn Star turned Hair Burner…i.e. he never made it.  Luckily.

Former substance abuser, turned crutch drinker.

Y’know, one of those broken types I like so much.  But, I appreciated that the was pulling himself out of the grave he’d dug himself.  That’s something-ish.

We had fun; good talks, fun flirtations, a decent connection.

But, as things progressed over the course of several dates, he…couldn’t.

Eventually, he just faded out.

So much for a decent atypical haircut on CapHill.  

Atypical, meaning that I didn’t look like every other homo on the Hill.  That’s a worthy point.  I bet you can’t throw a pomade in Shittatle without it bouncing off a half dozen hard part haircuts before it hits the ground.

What’s the word for a gay douchebag?


The point is, we never really untethered, socially.

My friends knew him.

We’d show up at the same place a couple times a year.

Then he moved away.

Eventually, he friended me on the dreaded Facebook.

I just rolled with it all.  Never rolling out the welcome mat, but also never calling out his shitty behavior.

Y’know, like sending me a friend request when he’s living with some older dude in my adopted hometown – those who know it, know it – and essentially putting on display what he deprived me of experiencing with him.

Cuz, that’s not a low grade psychotic behavior.

But, still…I roll.

Whatever he has with Not Me Older Guy implodes.  He moves back to his natural habitat – Shittatle – gets sober, finds god, becomes…tedious.  But only because I don’t tune into Facebook for a bunch of god-talk, especially in the form of AA, which I think verges on being a cult.

Good things happen.

He opens his own salon.

Reconnects with his problematic family.

Decides to become a trucker.

Because, once a Lost Boy, I suppose…

So, tonight…climbing into bed, I read that he’s been diagnosed with thyroid cancer.

The Big C.

And I feel bad.  It’s a reflexive reaction to news like this.  Empathy.

It occurs faster than I can read and as I finish the post, awash in my empathy, I read the statement that punctuates his disclosure: I just want prayers.

My eyes rolled just typing that.  Every time I read “thoughts and prayers”, I have to de-cultify it before I can look directly at the words.

It all boils down to compassion.  For whatever reason, we can’t own our own, we have to assign it to some sort of alleged and unproven higher power, because: faith.


My thoughts went all sarcastic Xtopher after that.

Into the realm of, “The ghoster becomes the ghost”…because I’m a grumpy old bastard and I don’t have a lot of pity for people.  There’s some wisdom behind the phrase, “You’ve made your bed, now lie in it”.  It’s certainly something I consider often in regards to my own mortality…after all, who is going to take care of me when I’m old?  

Fine.  Older.

It’s an impending grim reality of my existence…but at least I think I’ve returned all the phone calls I was socially expected to.

And, on that warm, fuzzy thought…I’m off to the land of Nod.

I Have A Huge Confliction

I’m a scientist…no offense, Actual Scientists

After yesterday’s post about shit, I thought I would next polish and post one of the drafts I have in the queue about a guy I dated who turned out to be a shit or treated me shitty.


Which is more grammatically correct?

Regardless, I couldn’t pick which draft or guy would deserve that honor or privilege, so just to avoid the decision I am sharing this random, irrelevant and mostly narcissistic thought about my favorite topic.

Not Mac & Cheese.

No..not beer.  Did you even read the last blog?  Thanks for picking that scab.


For some reason, I thought it would be nice to get my blog more widely read.  Gotta get those likes, right?  So, being the man of science that I am, I thought, “How does one do?” and decided that I was going to have to make a scientifically deeper dive into social media.

The Beautiful/Broken Poet has recently begun a Tumblr page for his work.  He also linked his work to Facebook (done) and Twitter…I don’t Tumbl or Tweet so I was at a loss.  I had an account on the Twitter for a long while a long while back.  All that ever happened was that it got hacked and I was changing my password more often than I was Tweeting, so I gave the Twitter the bird and deleted my profile on that app.  Not sure I want to repeat the same frustrations before I’ve exhausted my grumpy old man rage on each social opportunity equally…so, I figured I needed to decide whether I wanted to go with reddit or Pinterest.

Just kidding.  Pinterest can suck it.

I’m a redditor, Harry!

Now, because I am a crappy scientist, I didn’t actually check my baseline before beginning this experiment, but I know – I dunno…from September? – that previously my reader footprint had been strictly US based.

After posting the first blog to reddit – Grain Freeze – last night, I waited an appropriate amount of time – which turned out to be the amount of time required for a couple of showers, a little of “the hush, the bad” with my Poet, some sleep, a little coffee run – and checked my stats to see if there was any lift.

Traffic is marginally up, so I immediately decided to throw another blog on the reddit fire.  I tossed a dating blog on the Gaybros page and got an immediate comment!  Don’t get too excited, it was an auto-post from the moderator of the Gaybros page saying they didn’t allow posts from new users.  So much for Gaybros, but also exactly the precious behavior I would expect from a group of the gays.  Which is why I find so much material and inspiration for blog posts in my dating life.

I “donated” my Volunteerism blog to a reddit page dedicated to volunteering.  They were at least grateful enough to keep quiet.

When I checked some deeper statistics, it appeared that yes, my traffic was up, but my reader footprint was suddenly global!  Just this morning, I had picked up readers in Canada.  Not an unreasonable geographic leap.

Then I expanded the metrics to an overall view of the life of my lil corner of wordpress.

I had people in Mexico reading, not surprising…but now I can say I’m world (im)famous in North America.  Why anyone in Canada or Mexico would listen to an American about anything is slightly mysterious to me, but I will try to only improve the American image with my posts.  So there’s that.

Great Britain and Poland were surprise hits.  And while I would just like to think I’m worth random readership across the globe, I think the reality is that D/ and Other Chris are likely candidates for those clicks.  So, while my global footprint might not be the explosion my not-so-secret ego would like it to be, it is a good reminder of the fact that I have friends that I adore across the globe who might feel a twinge of the same emotions for me.

That’s a much better footprint to leave behind than interweb fame.

I’m a scientist…no offense, Actual Scientists