Too Dumb To Function

I was watching a lil Anderson Cooper this morning while disabling my ability to get out of bed. It was only a seven minute video – and I was waiting on a response from the Silver Fox, re: coffee.

Andy’s video was titled Tower of Lies.

Guess what it was about?

Go ahead, I’ll wait while you wrack your brain.

Ok, fine. It was about our Idiot in Chief. Well, Idiot, Jr at any rate. Specifically, Andy was describing the story arc of the Tower of Lies surrounding Jr’s 2016 Russian meeting at Trump Tower.

First, there wasn’t a meeting.

Then, there was a meeting, but it was about adoptions.

Next up, it was a meeting about dirt on Hilz…but they didn’t deliver any dirt, so it’s ok.

Ok

That’s just Jr, too! His idiot father had his own story arc that was basically the penthouse in this Tower of Lies.

Don’t forget the servant’s quarters in the Tower, though. Getting drawn in to their own arc were each of their legal teams and Fuckabee Slanders to either spread and validate their lies or demonstrate that they were also lied to.

Almost like they were fluffing the lie filled pillows for their guests in the Tower of Lies.

There, there…see how easy it is to get comfortable on top of this bed of lies?

“Hold up…I thought it was a pillow!” – Idiot Supporters

Oh, yes…certainly! But when you think of it, a mattress is really just a really big pillow!

“But wouldn’t it take really big lies to fill an entire mattress with lies?”

Ssshhhh, ssshhhh. There, there. MAGA.

Anyway, my story arc while watching Anderson Cooper try to intelligently describe such a mind-bendingly stupid situation was a tight gamut.

How stupid are these people to think we won’t see through this?!?

How stupid are the people that get paid to back this shit up?!?

Are the people that voted for him stupid enough to continue…oh, yes, yes they are.

Getting out of bed, my thought was, “These idiots are just too dumb to function.” – at least, I don’t think I said it out loud.

Anyway.

I’m tired. Stayed up til midnight watching Lord of the Rings and woke up tired at 6:30. The Fox has since indicated he’s out for our regular coffee date, so I’m debating going solo as I step into the shower.

I wash.

Get out, dry.

Dress in the tee and undies I’ve carried into the bathroom.

Play with Myrtle.

Feed the murderous feline.

Take my vitamins and then check the fridge for at home coffee alternatives.

“Out to coffee it is, then”, I say to Myrtle, closing the fridge.

I go to the couch to put on my sneakers. At the door, I pick up my keys and wallet…realizing at that point that I’d never put my shorts on!

Who’s too dumb to function now, Galbs?

Still chuckling after donning my shorts – and on my third attempt to leave the house after forgetting my phone – I decided that maybe Too Dumb To Function should be an irregular series on my blog. I like the Mean Girls riff on the “Too gay to function” line, so the series title has a good natured origin.

Being the responsible and good sport that I am, it seemed only fitting that my inaugural TDTF entry should star my own dumbness.

And to think, when I went to bed last night trying to organize my day between my coffee, blogging, spin and job hunt responsibilities…I had no idea what inspiration I would find in the morning before even getting out of bed. My intent was to blog about my Washington Park excursion yesterday.

Look what the universe had in store for me instead!

Too Dumb To Function