Do you ever look around your home and think to yourself, “I got some weird shit around here”?

No?

Just me?

I really do doubt I’m alone in this. However, as I have begun looking at my place with a more critical eye, things are jumping out at me.

Not a more critical eye…maybe more of a “What if?” eye.

Y’know…what if I died?

Ok, yeah. I’m pretty sure that one is just me. But the end result is I’m cleaning house a bit. A couple of disclaimers first:

1. My home exists suspended in the moments following Thanos’ snap. Do not judge my inability to keep up with that level of dusting.
2. I’ve typically been a purger throughout my fagabond (Chrisism) adult life.

That being said, aside from clothes I can no longer fit into nor emotionally part with yet, most of my clutter is just minutia. But I think that’s what will make whoever clears out the physical wake of my existence scratch a hole right into their head.

In no particular order, here is my crazy:

Random Coinage:

I have no idea where some of these are from. Whether I brought them home during my travels or picked them up as loose change without realizing I’d been given foreign currency until the CoinStar rejected it. But I’ve got them if I need them.

Match Books:

Some of these have moved with me to multiple residences, if not even multiple states. The Ripples matchbook has been to Florida, Texas, back to Cali, Oregon, Washington and then back to Oregon. They are scattered throughout my home. As a matter of fact, I got those Quark matches in Las Vegas at…Quark’s, the restaurant inside Star Trek: The Experience. I bought a box of them back in…2001? There is a book of Quark’s matches in every room.

Still.

Wine Corks:

Because – duh.

Keys:

Three of those are currently in use. Two others are for my Key Buddy.

I have at least three house keys from former residences as well as three more from people’s homes that I used to be either a Key Buddy for or a dog walking pinch hitter for – or both.

Nuts & Bolts:

Ok, I keep these around as both objets as well as mementos. But back in 90s LA, we used to have our own version of the 70s Key Parties. We called them Nut & Bolt Parties and that’s all I’m saying about them.

Fortune Cookie Fortunes:

I have no explanation. Other than the obvious:

Ticket Stubs:

Hey, the memory is going…

And…honorable mention – which you may have noticed in a few pics above:

Fingernail Clippers!

I don’t have a set in every room, but I think the several I have in random jacket pockets hanging in my closet makes my per room average about 2 – and that’s including my car as a “room”.

So…what crazy shit do you accumulate?