Welp, I’ve been awake an hour on this fine Saturday morning. Bed just before midnight, wide awake and refreshed at 8 AM.

I am a glass of cold brew into the day, already caught up on email and now I’m writing a blog post about it, so…this is different.

Not sure if it’s the whole frozen pizza I ate last night – I usually eat 2/3 and save the other two slices for lunch the next day – with only two glasses of wine or that I finally returned to the Peloton yesterday after 6 weeks off for my ribs to heal.

It may have been someone something else I did last night that I found <ahem> hard to do with broken ribs, but as nice as that was, I think I’m going with the pizza.

That’s not pessimism or an indictment of anyone’s enthusiasm, by the way. It’s practical thinking. I know I can get frozen pizza anytime I want. That other thing can be tough to – oh, boy – come by. Now I know why they call them tricks. The setup can definitely be tricky to navigate successfully.

Incidentally, my pro tip for zazzing up a frozen pizza isn’t a tip of mine at all…it belongs to actual pros. Of the spice industry. And I swear this isn’t an ad…but would you rather I describe my assignation or my late night dinner in too much detail? That’s what I thought.

All the credit for turning a $7 solution to a hollow hole in your being into a savory insatiable scenario goes to Penzey’s Frozen Pizza Seasoning. Trust me, buy the 1/2 cup jar to start, you’ll definitely go back for the 1 cup bag, but you’ll have the jar with the shaker top to refill!

I actually gave some of this to Bi Guy a year or so ago when we were still banging out because A) he had a functioning metabolism and ate far more frozen pizza than I; and B) was a chef, so I figured he would appreciate the easy level up. Nah, he tried to shred the thought that counted by rattling off what he assumed were the ingredients: Basil, Thyme, parsley.

Parsley?

Please, it’s just a tasteless filler.

Honestly, I’m sure all of those things are in this blend, but it’s not like they’ll tell you. It’s a trade secret. But on top of Bi Guy’s limited list – the product of his inherent laziness that prevented him into even putting any real thought into offending me, there’s oregano and (my favorite) anise seed. That’s on top of the healthy dose of the one ingredient they will disclose: garlic.

Yes, please. And it’s all salt-free. Not that I didn’t need a little salt after my aerobic endeavors yesterday. But I’m sure the pizza itself took care of that.

And in a perfect bookend to my two-glass-of-wine evening, I just poured my second glass of cold brew. On with the productivity!