Since I’m Trapped In Bed…

My mind – on the few occasions that it has been able recently – has punctuated my leaving my building with the opening lyrics to U2’s New Years Day.

I push through the outer lobby door into the great, empty quiet and my volunteer mind just starts unbidden

🎼All is quiet, on🎼

…and then my active mind finishes with “today. All is quiet on today.”

I can even indulge my innate weirdness and finish the thought aloud, since…what are the odds I’m overheard?

So, as I’m trapped beneath my own inertia and only nearly finished cup of coffee in bed this morning, I take to the Insta.

The ‘gram does not disappoint, putting this before my eyes

Now, it seems @DrMabuse2009 may not share the same appreciation of U2 as I. Or he does, and just knows a funny drop-in when he sees the chance.

Either way, I appreciate both: good music and legit pith.

Plus, U2 does kind of keep on putting themselves out there, so I suspect they are none the worse for the unsolicited pop critiques.

It reminds me of the old U2 joke:

They were performing in Ireland and at the end of one song, as the crowd was clapping its appreciation, Bono ordered the lights down and continued a slow rhythmic clap as the crowd grew silent.

Clap.

Beat.

Clap.

Beat.

Clap.

Beat.

This goes on – undoubtedly while the crew did crew things in the dark and the rest of the band took a hit or a leak or something.

Because, why wouldn’t I try to fill in the negative space in a joke?

Anyhoo

Eventually, Bono starts talking.

“Every time”

Clap.

“I clap my hands”

Clap.

“A child in Africa”

Clap.

“Dies of starvation”

Clap.

Beat.

Clap.

Beat.

Cl-

“Well, quit fookin’ doin’ it, then!” comes a shout from the darkness.

Anyway…apparently, there’s new U2 music for those who are so inclined. Basically, anyone who didn’t switch from Apple to Android back when my fake former classmate, Tim Cook, gifted an automatic upload of a U2 album to everyone’s iTunes account.

Since I’m Trapped In Bed…

3 thoughts on “Since I’m Trapped In Bed…

  1. The bit about aren’t the Italians suffering enough sent me out of the chair snorting coffee through my nose. Insufferably self important people are, well, often insufferable! But I want Bono’s hair. So, probably, does the horse who donated it. Aging rockstars all know the same hair milliner. See Elton last night? That’s the kind of rug that says money is no object. Personally I prefer the Green Day, Jeff Beck, Alice Cooper look. A black, worn out mop varnished into curls and spikes. I mean how great is that? The look of hair with the maintenance of a hat and no man whore hair chemicals budget!
    Doc, it hurts everytime I do this.
    Well, stop doing that and it’ll stop hurting
    My dad used the one about Why are you beating your head against the wall? Because it feels so good when I stop…

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      1. I like how Shatner’s can go all short brillo and blend in so well. Talk about a spray adhesive bill…Yeah, EJ gets the golden mop award for sure. And Jeff beck’s hair hasn’t changed since the 70s!

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