I’m not one to blindly follow someone cuz they’re a gay.

Truth be told, it’s more of a red flag to me, given the shambles of gay culture in this country.

Doubt me?

Just consider for a moment how hard it was for me to not punctuate that statement with a meme that suggests

Gay Culture is…<insert enabling or inane graphic here>

For me, whenever I see one of those memes, I roll my eyes and think, “Gay Culture was…” wistfully.

So hearing that a gay mayor was running for President conflicted me. On the one hand, finally – a gay leader.

I think the gays have mastered following. Sadly, they seem to be lining up to follow 17 year old pop stars and drag queens.

Inauspicious.

Perhaps this was a chance for them to follow someone worthy that could benefit the country more than Taylor Swift or Arianna Grande.

So, when I saw an ad for Mayor Pete on the Insta, I clicked on it to learn a bit more about him. The ad was less platform driven, more a statement of the size of the field and the struggle faced by those vying for market share in the party.

But if you donate…

And I admit, I was curious enough based on interviews I’d seen to want to see more. I mean, even watching him explain how he balanced faith, politics and sexuality left me nodding appreciatively compared to his fellow (closeted) state politician, Pence.

So I donated.

Plus, there was a bumper sticker involved if I made a donation.

So, that was seven weeks ago.

Do I have a bumper sticker?

No. No, I do not.

I mean, it’s not like I have a friggin’ bumper, but still.

To me, it would be refreshing for a homo to follow through on a commitment, so…

Anyway, I’m writing the whole thing off thusly and moving on with my life when I get an email from Petey Boy.

Alright, I’ll allow for a lil hope. Maybe the campaign tasks this out as a monthly function versus a quid pro quo process.

Fine.

Huzzah, even.

But that was three weeks ago.

Do I have a sticker?

No. Still, no, I do not.

I mean, the email didn’t specifically say it was going in the mail that day. But it also didn’t say that an inter was personally walking it over to me.

Frankly, gay sensibility being what it is, I’m worried the latter might be occurring.

In heels.

But at this point I’m kind of torn between snarkily wondering if this is an example of the ineffective government machine or just another gay guy overpromisimg, underdelivering and eventually demonstrating that the promised follow through never mattered.

Troubling.

But maybe if I make it into a joke, it won’t bother me. Clearly, that’s a strategy that’s worked so well for me up til now…